“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
-Lao Tzu

News and Updates at River Valley BHWC

Ask a Therapist or Medication Provider

This week's question addresses a common challenge for therapists: how to help young people transition into adulthood. Leah Wellstone, MA, LMFT, CEDS, offers her insights on this important topic.

Question:

"I need professional advise on how to launch my adult grandson. He is almost 22. I know I am somewhat an enabler. He has gone through a lot in his young life. It's hard for me to be tough on him. He does has depression and anxiety. Is on meds for both. I just need some good advice on next steps to help him move forward."

Response:

Thank you for this timely question!

Being part of launching a young adult can be an exciting and challenging time for both, so be gentle with yourself and each other! This developmental stage for a young adult involves differentiation and individuation. I also believe the village that helps raise a young adult goes through this stage, again, too.

• Differentiation - maintaining a connection with family while also developing a sense of self.
• Individuation - developing a sense of self separate from the identities of others.

So while the young adult still needs support, you need to be curious and ask how you could be helpful. As caregivers of young adults, we need to take a step back from active parenting. Let them take the lead and be there to listen, not lecture or give advice, unless they ask.

When they do come to you with frustration about this process, you may want to "fix it" for them, and this will only bring on more frustration and disconnection from each other. At this time, be curious and supportive. Acknowledge how hard it is - "Wow, you've got a lot on your mind right now and this sounds frustrating." A great follow-up question would be, "Is it helpful to just talk about it and get it out or do you want some help in figuring out your next steps?" Just listening is a very important role right now!

Offering help is okay, but keep in mind, this is their work to do, not yours - so encourage them by saying, "I know you're going to figure this out."

So, as a recap, your young adult is developing their independence while still staying connected to their family. So they may feel conflicted, which is a normal reaction to life transitions. Be a calm, consistent and encouraging presence, for yourself and for your young adult.

It might be a good idea to schedule therapy to address this transition and get support. Feel free to reach out to schedule with one of our therapists or another mental health professional.

Submit Your Own Questions!

Have you ever found yourself wondering about a certain aspect of your mental health or relationships? Now is your chance to ask our team of experienced therapists or medication providers for their expert advice. Whether you have a question about managing anxiety, improving communication with your partner, coping with stress, or questions on medication, we are here to help. Simply submit your question in the link below, and we will choose one of these questions to be answered in one of our upcoming newsletters! We look forward to helping you on your journey to better mental health and well-being.

Disclaimer: The information provided in these responses is intended for general knowledge and informational purposes only, and does not constitute direct medical advice or replace individual professional consultation. Any decisions or actions taken based on the information provided are solely at your own discretion and risk.

River Valley BHWC Client Satisfaction Survey

Are you a current or past client of ours? We would like to invite you to take our survey to help us better serve you and our clients. This survey is just a few questions and should only take about 5 to 10 minutes. Please let us know how we are doing. Thank you!

Broaden My Knowledge

Book of the Month: "Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art" by James Nestor

No matter what you eat, how much you exercise, how skinny or young or wise you are, none of it matters if you're not breathing properly.

There is nothing more essential to our health and well-being than breathing: take air in, let it out, repeat 25,000 times a day. Yet, as a species, humans have lost the ability to breathe correctly, with grave consequences.

Journalist James Nestor travels the world to figure out what went wrong and how to fix it. The answers aren't found in pulmonology labs, as we might expect, but in the muddy digs of ancient burial sites, secret Soviet facilities, New Jersey choir schools, and the smoggy streets of Sao Paulo. Nestor tracks down men and women exploring the hidden science behind ancient breathing practices like Pranayama, Sudarshan Kriya, and Tummo and teams up with pulmonary tinkerers to scientifically test long-held beliefs about how we breathe.

Video of the Month: "Aging Out"

Artfully directed by award-winning filmmakers Roger Weisberg and Vanessa Roth, AGING OUT chronicles the daunting obstacles that three young people in foster care encounter as they "age out" of the system and are suddenly on their own for the first time.

As the crisp air of fall ushers in busier schedules, finding time for wholesome meals can be challenging. But don't worry! This vibrant sweet potato and lentil dish is a delicious plant-based solution that's both easy on your wallet and quick to prepare. The combination of fiber-packed vegetables and protein-rich lentils creates a balanced meal that supports both your physical and mental well-being, even when life gets hectic. To boost the fiber content even more, pair it with a side of sauteed greens with a touch of garlic.

Ingredients:

• 6 sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into chunks
• 1 onion, thinly sliced
• 2 carrots, sliced lengthways
• 1 tbsp finely grated ginger
• 2 garlic cloves, finely grated
• 2 tsp oil
• 1 tbsp curry powder
• 1 vegetable stock cube
• 2 tbsp tomato purée
• 1/4 cup dry red lentils
• 1/2 cup coriander, chopped, plus sprigs to serve
• 1/4 cup 0% fat Greek-style yogurt

1. Boil the sweet potatoes until tender, about 15 minutes.
2. Heat oil in a pan, fry onion and carrot for 2 minutes, then add garlic and ginger, cook and stir for 1 minute more. Mix in curry powder.
3. Add 3 cups water, stock cube, tomato purée, and lentils and bring to a boil. Cover and boil for 20 minutes, or until vegetables and lentils are soft and liquid is absorbed. Stir in chopped coriander.
4. Mash the sweet potatoes and mix in the Greek yogurt.
5. Spoon the lentil mix into your dish(es), top with the sweet potato mixture, sprinkle with coriander, and enjoy with broccoli if desired.

Be sure to utilize all the techniques and recipes from our previous newsletters in the "Cue to Be Well" archive: